I have been a Family Court Attorney for 24 years, a Divorce
Attorney for 21 years, and a Mediator for 25 years. My average fee on a successful Mediation,
resulting in a written, binding Separation Agreement is $1,200.00. The highest fee I have seen in a divorce case
was over $100,000.00, charged by a divorce attorney in a firm I worked for many
years ago in another county. In the end,
the client ended up not getting the custodial arrangement he wanted, kidnapped
the children, was arrested in California after their photos were seen on a milk
carton, charged with multiple felonies, and did State prison time. And the attorney, in that firm ended up
reaping over $100,000.00 in legal fees, after he sued the mother for legal
fees. Yes, that’s right the mother, who
had her children kidnapped from her and spent all her money on private
investigators trying to locate the children.
The attorney even tried to attach the mother’s pension (he wasn’t
successful). After all she had gone
through, there was not even one drop of human kindness in that attorney, who
was my co-worker, and cared only about getting his legal fees. Let’s all say it together, I’ll go
first: “EWWWWWW!”
I do
everything I can to encourage parties who are properly positioned for mediation
to engage in the mediation process. As I
have written in previous Blogs, one of our top matrimonial Judges in New York
State, Appellate
Division Justice David B. Saxe, wrote an article for the New York Law Journal
in 2011 entitled, "Encourage Divorce Clients to Mediate." As
Justice Saxe noted in his article, mediation clients have more control over
their process, and ultimately it is the parties who craft the resolution in the
end, not a judge who presides over them. Moreover, Justice Saxe pointed
out that mediation clients tend to be more satisfied with their results than
litigation clients. As Justice Saxe wrote, "if matrimonial lawyers
focus on the larger picture, they might recognize that they stand to gain more
in the long run from the good will and recommendations of satisfied clients
than from the backlash of dissatisfaction in the wake of a typical unpleasant
divorce."
I
let mediation clients have complete control over the process, with me guiding
them to a resolution. Sometimes I take a
bath on the fees, giving them additional time without charge, for instance,
because I really want them to get to a resolution. I do not take an advance retainer, as I do
with divorce cases. Mediation clients
pay per session. If they don’t want to
schedule another session right away, that is their choice. When the parties see that they are close to a
resolution, they will often go into what I call super-collaboration mode, working
together to resolve the matters because they know they will minimize their
fees. Unfortunately, there is no such
incentive in litigation (court-initiated) matters.
Not
everyone is a mediation candidate. An
obvious example would be where there is domestic violence in the household. Or where one party has stolen money. Those parties are not on a level playing
field, which is the main requirement for mediation. But even where we start out with litigation,
there is almost always the possibility of settling before a full blown trial is
necessary.
For
those who are in the Family Court or in Supreme Court for divorce matters,
there is no governing organization trying to help you through, no incentive to
finish the matter quickly and inexpensively.
The average divorce attorney locally takes a $5,000.00 to $10,000.00
advance retainer, and bills against that retainer, which evaporates quickly
when there are motions, discovery, depositions, and court appearances. There are many cases in the Hudson Valley
with 6-figure legal fees, and some are still going on.
It’s
time to end the suffering. The current
divorce court system and family court system is humiliating to the parties,
destructive to families, and soul-sucking.
The attorneys who either intentionally keep the cases going to earn
legal fees or just don’t care enough to end it quickly or to mediate the cases
are the only ones who are profiting.
Someone told me they heard an attorney advertisement on the radio
telling people they shouldn’t mediate divorce cases. Wow. I
do not know who it was, but I would love to put them in a room with Justice
Saxe and let them tell him that.
I
don’t have any solutions for the divorce or family court system, sorry. I can tell you that if you or someone else is
in a situation requiring legal intervention, if the two parties can sit down in
a room, then try mediation. If you are
successful, you will be heroes. To
yourselves, your children if you have them, and to a new generation who just
says NO to divorce court and family court.
Juliana
LoBiondo
juliana@lobiondolaw.com
Juliana
LoBiondo
juliana@lobiondolaw.com
www.LoBiondoLaw.com
